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My Thoughts on the Chapter How Far Carried in The Real AA by Ken Ragge
You can read the book here.
I have been rereading The Real AA and in particular the chapter entitled How Far Carried. Someone had commented on one my videos that Ken believed AA used Chinese mind control techniques so I thought I would look into these claims. What I ended up reading in that chapter, most notably at the end, was a near perfect description of precisely what happened in my mind whilst I was in treatment the last time.
[P]eople are removed from any positive support for their identity and are “educated” by a unanimous majority about the nature of their disease. (p.190)
As the indoctrinee begins to see the world and himself from the viewpoint of his peers, he begins to see his own guilt and identifies himself as a guilty person. (p.190)
This could not be more accurate. For sometime now I have been trying to understand just how I fell for all the fallacies within the program, and above is the answer. As soon as I walked through the doors of the treatment centre I entered a new ‘world’ with new rules and expectations. With minimal contact to the outside world, the only feedback I received came from people who believed in this program. Looking back I am shocked by how much power this gave to the whole process. Given that EVERYONE that surrounded me lived and breathed the Steps it follows that to be accepted I had to act in accordance with the program, and any dissent was met with words, or even ‘punishments’, designed to instil shame in me.
Perhaps the most motivating form of guilt in terms of identity change is guilt arising from disappointing “those who are only trying to help.” (p.191)
What Ken writes above is key to this whole process. I genuinely believed that everyone in treatment meant well and had our best interests at heart; why wouldn’t they? After all everyone was on the same program, including the staff, and ‘in order to keep what they had they had to give it away.’ What amazes me is how they managed to instil this belief in all of us, in fact they didn’t – this belief was there before I arrived in treatment. It had never occurred to me to question the program in any way shape of form. The benevolence of the 12 Steps had always somehow been a ‘truth’. If one thinks someone/something is trying to help they are more likely to tale down their natural defences. But this is illogical given that the 12 Steps, at least at that time for me, were being offered as a solution to what I had come to believe was an illness. Let me explain – the other day my doctor prescribed some medicine for a condition; the first thing I did was ask him of any potential side-effects. Why don’t people do the same when they are prescribed this program?
In both Chinese re education and the AA treatment center, the world is painted as a battleground between two forces; one pure good and one pure evil… In AA, the ultimate good is AA, the doctrine as interpreted by the elders and everything associated with AA. Where one's experiences, thoughts, desires or behavior are not aligned with the “ultimate good,” they are in the service of evil. (p.192)
Absolutely; before long my whole value system dictated that in order to feel good about myself I had to adhere to this program; the cost of not doing so almost always left me feeling guilty as well as doubting myself. In some respects it was much like how I felt as a child having been brought up a Catholic; I had returned to a state where I feared not being ‘good’. This is a critical difference – I was not being motivated by the potential rewards of doing the next right thing, instead I was commanded by a subtle fear of the consequences for not obeying the program, i.e. relapse, institutions, morgues, etc.
After both re-education and treatment, the prisoner and patient are thankful for the intervention of “history” or “higher power.” Gratitude is felt toward the bearers of the great wisdom which transcends ordinary human concerns. For the “new man” and the “recovering alcoholic” the goal is the same: to spread the sacred doctrine. (p.192)
I was subjected to a lot of so-called tough love in treatment. I did not really challenge the program but at one stage I wanted to leave as I felt my life was in danger. Someone had made a threat towards me, someone with a history of violence. For about a week (I was there for 8) I was made an outcast and the staff made an example of me as someone who was not working the program. I was accused of wanting to use, of being paranoid and told that I had ‘trust issues’. It all came to an end when I caved in and gave into the pressure. I could not take all the hostility – the negative looks, the general shunning and feeling like a total outcast. But the most insane thing was how I ended up thanking the person that had threatened me for all the lessons the episode had afforded me. So again what Ken writes above describes my situation most aptly.
I don’t think Ken actually states that AA set out to use the same tactics as the Chinese – all I think he was trying to do was highlight how similar the processes and outcomes of both practices are/were. That is an important distinction.
Many thanks to Ken Ragge.
James G
J a m e s G can be contacted at jamesg@blamedenial.co.uk